jewassicpark:

“pass me a joint”

i rip off my arm, crying as i pass the detached extremity to my friend 

(Source: joshfrancesgay, via maxterbate)

hitterlick:

top 3 things about me

• fuckin raw
• super chill
• funky fresh
• rule breaker

(via maxterbate)

nicolasiscaged:

[12 year old kid from the 50s who plays baseball voice] why i oughta

(via maxterbate)

toidarian:

i’m starting to reach that point of scifi inebriation again where the thought that i’m actually confined to a single planet is really weird to me

(via maxterbate)

africans:

i drop a piece of weed and it fell in a spider web and the spider was like “my nigga” and we fist pounded

(Source: cowboybeboop, via maxterbate)

jesuschristvevo:

being hotter than me is selfish and rude

(via maxterbate)

mew-squared:

• In 2009, a man married a video game character
• In 2007, a woman married the Eiffel Tower
• In 2008, a man married a life-sized doll
• Also in 2009, a woman married a roller coaster
• And in 2005, a woman married a dolphin

please explain to me why people still say that gays shouldnt be able to be married to preserve the sanctity of marraige

(via lexieloveyoulikeacupcake)